What is prayer?  It is a conversation with God.  A conversation that takes place for some on the road to work, beside their bed, in a crowded church or on the sidewalk in the park.  When prayer is used in the public realm it is much like a presentation.  It embodies the power of strong language, the use of emotion and most of all the Heart.

You need to have all of these in your communication.  I often tell people that the ability to "Keep it Real" is where real power lies in a person delivering a message.  When a message is going to be negative, think about how it will affect those in the audience.  A powerful message could create excitement and need some calming words to keep the flow.  Think about the many meetings, presentations, services, etc you attend every year and the countless words that you hear.  Now think of the hundreds of emotions that you have felt when listening to those same words. 

Emotions that we go through in a given situation mean we have connected with our speaker and the depth of the topic.  It has spoken to us in a deeper way and touched our heart.  Now think about a call to action that occured at that moment.  Weren't you more likely to take hold and be convicted to change your way, make a difference, sign up to do something?  You get my meaning now.  Instilling emotion, passion - TRUE HEART - into your topics will do the same thing.  The last time you prayed weren't you using your heart then, speaking from your heart...

Many people pray at funerals, in church and anytime that struggles happen.  Many pray before they present as it is a last ditch effort to do well and remove the nerves.  No matter where you pray, or how just remember to do it from the heart.  Make your conversations, presentations and prayers from the heart.

I recently read an article that said that often the 'E' in e-mail stands for the "easy way out".  This is always a key point of my class discussions on using the electronic media to communicate for you.  It is easy to send 50 people the same message, attach large amounts of data, span the globe and share today’s successes.  It is also much Easier to send a scathing letter to a colleague then face them and deliver the news when you have to see them in person. 

This weekend I received a phone call from one of my kid's coaches regarding an Email sent to another member of the team.  The Email stated that if you didn't show up at a certain practice, don't bother showing up for the next event.  Needless to say I was hot about taking the call and Especially when I found out that the Email was reported to have come from my child. 

After many tense moments and a few investigative computer moves we proved my child innocent of sending the Email.  What a relief for this household but what a scary thing still.  The recipient didn't bother to look at the sender’s information.  They were concerned with the name at the bottom of the Email and it was falsely labeled with my kid's name.  Feelings were hurt, egos bruised and tears were shed.  We solved the problem, talked it through and took care of the issues.  The hardest part was understanding why someone would write an Email and attach another’s name. 

Shifting responsibility, taking the Easy road, not wanting to deal with the hard truth that communicating bad news is difficult are some ways Email is used.  We must face the best way to communicate bad news is face - to - face.   The human factor that is missing in emails is what allows us to rise above lower life forms.  It is the ability to say something in a positive way that will change behavior without causing pain, anger and that allows the listener to respond and ask questions.  Here is a simple Email checklist for better communication:

1. Remove slang, jargon, abbreviations and acronyms for clearer communication

2. List in bullet points the key issues of the email

3.  Proof read for context and continuity of your message

4.  Never criticize the recipients

5.  Try to limit the Email to no more than 3 paragraphs of 4-5 sentences maximum

6.  If you are concerned about the tone enlist someone to proof before sending

7.  Never - Never send an email when you are angry.  You'll live to regret it, unfortunately...

I am always asked to make a recommendation on books to read and how I go about gaining new knowledge of topics.  Here is what I tell everyone...

Let me start by saying that I am a much faster at typing and talking than reading.  I read very slowly and usually find myself day-dreaming in the middle of the paragraph unless it is a very exciting literary work.  I do, however, enjoy reading more often as I get a little older.  Someday I am sure that I will be able to read a book all the way through in a single sitting. 

What To Read:  How to choose the books / journals?  Look to other professionals in your industry, the books they read, the magazines that they subscribe to and the trade journals that are popular and discuss the latest trends in your line of work.

How Do I Afford all the Literature:  First look to discount subscriptions from groups, clubs, and organizations you belong too.  Many of them receive national discounts as a member from online list, book clubs and sometimes subscription houses.  Also look for online sales of the literature.  I have purchased several books and magazine subscriptions from EBAY.  A few others from Amazon and then some smaller auction houses but they all offer great rates and they save a lot of leg work.

How Do I Read All of this Material:  Just read a few minutes a day.   Many professionals and coaches around the world mention reading 20 minutes a day and soon you are moving through lots of material.  I like to cut and paste online articles into several larger files and print 3-4 at a time without all the clutter, banners, and such that waste ink and paper.  I can take them with me while waiting in line, at a traffic light, etc.  

Books and More Books to Build a Library:  One book I read " Monday Morning Customer Service" by Reed & Cottrell mentioned the ability to gain knowledge from all those that have gone before us.  The character talks about gaining his insight from the many books in his library.  He didn't have to have all the answers or be the expert.  The "guys and gals" that wrote those books are the experts, I just use the information from them to satisfy my customer's requirements.

I read the chapters that specifically deal with my topic of interest first.  Most often I gain good insight by doing this and then as my knowledge increase so does my interest and then the rest of the book becomes more of interest and so I complete reading it. Books that are often full of theory without ample examples and studies become boring and too school like.  Read with an eye toward gaining knowledge of a new business.  Look at the ideas as ways to increase your offerings to clients and better ways to Serve Others. 

My last little tip:  Go to a book store, you know one of those like Half Price Books and look to the Clearance Aisle.  You will find hundreds of books on business.  Find the ones with your topics and buy them all.  Usually you can spend under 10 dollars and have 10-20 books.  If you get lucky some one will have highlighted key points of interest for you.  It's far easier to gain insight, knowledge and interest when you view many sources.  We look to OJT (On the Job Training) to meet our career goals because reality lives on the front lines and not just with a single professor that taught us a skill.  These many sources, books and journals give you different perspectives on reality that is easy to take or leave as needed.

Go Read Something...

Taking time to ? b/4 given the 411:  It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Have you missed me since I haven’t written anything?  It has become apparent to those around me that I have a lot going on and less time to just sit and enjoy.  Do you ever feel that way?  Has your communication become rushed and you are always looking for a shortcut to get “IT” said?

It is time to slow down and think more about your communication.  I use a very simple 3 step process for preparing my communication.

Audience

• What do they already know?
• What do they need to know?

Purpose

• How do I support my message to them?
• What data will provide best results?

Goal

• How will I know if they got the message?

This simple 5 question example above proves timeless when thinking of communicating with others.  I can write more effective emails, hold better meetings and prepare for a conference call with the knowledge that I have my audience in mind.

What do you do to prepare for your audience?  Are you giving your audience what they need to make a difference?

Spend a few minutes before your next meeting, email or call and ask yourself these questions.  It will give you the clarity of mind to deliver a very powerful message that everyone understands.

I often get asked about our mission and serving others.  Why do you always talk about serving others and giving them what they want.  We have several reasons for this thought process and they go like this.

1.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you... I treat others with respect so that I am treated with respect.  I give them good service and they in return provide good service to me.  I am to them what I want in return.  Serving others is a basic principle of life.  We treat others the way we want to be treated.  I want to serve others so in return I am served.  (served does not mean waited on, it means given what I need to be happy and successful)

2. Serving others is basic human nature.  We are not born to live a high life of being cared for our entire existence.  We are born wanting to care for others.  Taking care of a child, raising an animal or sharing with a roommate are all pieces of serving another.  It is what we do, and yes some of you are better at it than the rest of us.  We know that we are all different and as long as we continue to try and take care of the needs of another we are serving them.

3.  I believe that no person should be held to a higher standard, put on a pedestal or raised above that of another human being.  I don't care if you are the inventor of the latest widget, you are a human that eats, sleeps and needs to be served.  How did you become someone of stature?  You served an audience, population or segment of the world market what they needed to do their job, survive or accomplish more.  You served someone.

4. Last, I take care of those that care for me.  I have never met a person that did not enjoy being served at some point and in turn did not feel obligated to do like in return.  The latest commercial out there in TV land shows people doing nice things for others, and being noticed by a passer by.  Each case some is being served and someone is serving.  It is continually paid forward if you will.

Serving others can come in many forms.  Here are a few that I believe make a difference everyday and continue to serve me in my profession and personal life.

Listen to others: listen while in conversations, here your speaker, listen to the stories of your kids, neighbors, and elderly relatives.  One of the greatest gifts we can give is to pay attention to the stories and lives of those that don't directly feed our pocket.  You will learn more that you ever imagined and it will make a difference in the life of another.

Give in once in a while:  if you always have to win, this will be the most difficult challenge for you.  Humble yourself before man.  I love to win, but I know that my children need to win occasionally, my students needs to be right, I need to show that I am fallible and be willing to admit it.  Allowing people to see you as a human being that is capable of failing, moving on and succeeding the next time.  That is the true test of a winner.  Give in and let someone else have a chance to shine.  You might enjoy the situation

Be yourself: often in class we are taught to be on stage, never let them see you sweat and last but not least, never show your emotion.  I am an emotional person.  Funny, but I can cry at a simple commercial for Kodak film, I cry at movies, sitcoms, shows and watching my kids play.  I finally figured out why I shed tears in these moments.  It is the human achievement, and the success of others.  I cried when my daughter got an out on the field when my son got a ribbon in a sport.  My wife got off the plane from a business trip.  I was enthusiastic about the achievement of them, their goals accomplished, and their letting me share the experience. Be willing to show your softer side to others, let them in to know the real you. 

Live life with others:  we are all a part of a larger community.  It might be a neighborhood, small town, state, or even a race.  We have the need to share our dreams, our accomplishments and most of all we have the need to belong.  We all feel the need to belong to something, to be a part of something larger.  Share with your neighbors tomorrow, have a drink, throw a dinner, go to a movie or just sit on the porch and watch the sunset.  Whatever you share, share it with others, you will know the basis of serving others when they share with you.

Serve others...

I often tell people that speaking up for what you believe in is important.  I also tell them that speaking up doesn't mean telling people off, fighting the system or causing problems.  Speaking up means to get the tools that make your job easier, and cutting through the red tape that hinders progress.

Speaking up is telling people what you need to do your job effectively and to the best of your ability.  If you do not have the tools to do your job then ask for them.  The number 1 complaint I hear  from students regarding their work environment is not having the tools to do the job they have been asked to do and do well.  We are all held accountable to metrics of some sort that are set by those not doing the work.  For example, one day I was trying to do invoices but didn't have all the information to do the job.  When I contacted the sales person I was told he was working on it.  His boss told me that invoicing must be created that day regardless.  I could not do my job but the boss didn't care.

How do you fix it without upsetting someone or putting yourself in a bad position?  Ask for what you need.  Finally after several calls, emails and a lot of complaining I did what was necessary.  I contacted the customer, got the invoicing information necessary, and submitted the billing.  I had to speak up and get what I needed.  I had to take the initiative because circumstances were hindering me from doing my job.  All future issues were solved with speaking up front with sales and the customer about invoicing information.  Probelm solved by asking for what I needed and not waiting for others to do their job.

I tell you this so that you can whisper the following mantra to yourself when barriers get in your way: "Speak up, get out, or shut up and quit whinning"  these are the only 3 options you have when barriers keep you from working at peak performance. 

Keep it real! Tell it like it is... What's the 411, lowdown, and skinny?  It is this, real people use their background, history, experiences interwoven in presentations and business communication to make and keep it real for their audience. 

Keeping it real makes it interesting for the audience to hear and it helps them stay focused on you, the speaker.  If you have had expereinces renting cars that were funny and your presentation is about service, use the stories to make a point.  Use the stories that have given you frustration, joy, laughter or pain to make examples, analogies, etc.

I often use my children, their mother and family events in classes that I train on leadership, presentations and communication. 

For example, I have watched my daughter, a softball catcher get run over by girls twice her size when they steal home.  My daughter jumps up with her hair a mess, her gear in disarray, and occasionally a tear running down her cheek, all while yelling how many outs, where the runners are and where to throw the ball if hit.  Softball is her business and leading a team is her game.  She is a leader, and she has persistence, vision and passion for the game and team members.  That is a true leader and thus, the end of my point...

Make it real by including those events in your life that occur with tears and laughter, look into your past for what has changed you and the way you think about things.  Use these topics to make your point known.  Adults love to hear stories and when a message, similar to parables, fables, etc, are derived all the better.  They will listen and remember.  That is the 411 of presenting and communicating in business.